---
author: Stephen R. Covey
pdate: 1989
rdate: 2022
rating: 3
subject: Psychology
genre: Self-help
---

#nonfiction #books #modernbook 
## Info
Author - Stephen R. Covey

# Detailed summary
## Part One
**We must look *at* the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see. We must realise that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world* - related [[Pygmalion effect]]

There's the **character ethic** (integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, etc) that basically tells you that there are basic and fundamental principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
Then there's the **personality ethic** which states that success is a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviours, etc. Some of its parts are beneficial, some are not

Based on the character ethic and the personality ethic respectively, primary greatness and secondary greatness are the good things from both of these ethics. Covey uses the example of having a wrong map to illustrate how primary greatnesses are superior and more important than secondary greatnesses.

Conditioning powerfully affects our perceptions and paradigms.
A paradigm shift occurs when one's paradigms, well, shift radically. Exempli gratia - Ptolemy's worldview -> Galileo & Copernicus' worldview

In order to achieve success, you should quit hacking at the leaves of attitude and behaviour and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and behaviours flow.

Principle of process - in development, there are no shortcuts. You must walk the road of education/development/other fully. Side thought: personality ethic's positiveness and overconfidence destroy this process and create these shortcuts (e.g. you don't learn if you don't accept your ignorance first).

**The way we see the problem is the problem**.

Character is a composite of habits - "sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny".

To create or to break a habit requires more energy than maintaing it (compare how you have to use more fuel to lift-off from earth than the amount you'll have to use to travel to the moon)

**HABIT** - intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire (what to do, how to do, want to do)

The 7 habits move humans on the **Maturity Continuum** - dependence -> independence -> interdependence

Habits 1,2,3 deal with self-mastery (dependence -> independence)
Habits 4,5,6 deal with teamwork, cooperation, etc. (independence -> interdependence)
Habit 7 - habit of renewal, the habit of continuous improvement.

One of the principles of effectiveness is the P/PC balance. Most people see effectiveness like this: the more you produce, the more effective you're. In reality, it's a function of 2 variables: what is produced, and the producing asset or the capability to produce. In simpler terms, focus not only on the result of actions, but on the action itself as well. So P/PC balance - **Production/Production Capability (the asset or ability that produces the P) Balance**. 

Types of PCs: 1) Physical (e.g. a lawnmower, then P - mowed lawn); 2) financial (e.g. your capability to earn money, P - money); 3) human (e.g. your relationships). In all of these cases, keep the P and the PC in balance.

## Part Two
### Habit 1: Be Proactive
Determinism sucks ass.

**Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose**. In simpler terms, you *can* choose your response to stimuli.

To be proactive means to be able to choose your response. Proactive people are driven by values, while reactive ones are driven by feelings and circumstances. Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli, but their response to them is a value-based choice or response.
It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Surely, things can hurt us physically or otherwise, but our character and basic identity do not have to be hurt at all.

According to [[Viktor Frankl]], there are 3 central values in life: the experiential, or that which happens to us; the creative, or that which we bring into existence; and the attitudinal, or our response in difficult circumstances such as terminal illness.

It is important to take initiative.

Circle of Concern model:
There are things that you're worried (Circle of Concern), and among those are things you can do something about - Circle of Influence. Proactive people work to enlarge the Circle of Influence, while reactive ones focus on the Circle of Concern, causing the Circle of Influence to shrink. Also, don't make your CoI larger than your CoC, and otherwise. Try to make your CoI a little smaller than your CoC.

The problems we face fall in one of three areas: direct control (problems involving our own behaviour), indirect control (problems involving others' behaviour), or no control.
Direct control problems are solved by working on Habits 1,2,3.
Indirect control problems are solved by working on Habits 4,5,6.
No control problems involve taking the responsibility to not empower these problems to control us.

The Circle of Concern is filled with the *have*'s:
- If only I had a boss who wasn't such a dictator...
- If only I had a more patient husband
- If I had my degree

The Circle of Influence is filled with the *be*'s:
- I can be more patient
- I can be wise

While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions, as the consequences are in the Circle of Concern, not in the Circle of Influence.

### Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Basically, this means to begin today with the image of the end of your life as your frame of reference. This means to start with a clear understanding of your destination, to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.

"Begin with the end in mind" is based on the principle that **all things are created twice**: a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things. 
Not all first creations are by conscious design - they may be made by ourselves (**by design**), or shaped by outside factors (**by default**).

Habit 2 is based on principles of personal leadership, which means that leadership is the first creation. Management is the second. "Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall".

Create a personal mission statement to understand your values. Whatever is at the center of your life will be the source of your security, guidance, wisdom, and power

*Security* represents your sense of worth, your identity, your emotional anchorage, your self-esteem, your basic personal strength or lack of it.
*Guidance* means your source of direction in life.
*Wisdom* is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.
*Power* is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something.

Types of centres:
- spouse centeredness (low sec,guid,wis & pow)
- family centeredness (//-//-//)
- money centeredness
- work centeredness
- possession centeredness
- pleasure centeredness
- friend/enemy centeredness
- self-centeredness
etc.

The ideal is to create one clear center from which you consistently derive a high degree of security, guidance, wisdom, and power.

By centering our lives on correct principles, we create a solid foundation for development of the four life-support factors, becaue the principles don't change.

Personal leadership is not a singular experience, it is the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with those most important thigns

A good affirmation (a way of visualising something) has 5 basic ingridients, it's:
- personal
- positive
- present tense
- visual
- emotional

### Habit 3: Put First Things First
Effective self-management. Magaement is discipline, carrying things defined in the Habit 2.

**Organise and execute around priorities**

Generations of time management:
1) Notes and checklists
2) Calendars and appointment books
3) Current time management field (#1,2 + Prioritisation and other goodies)
4) Type IV - focues on preserving and enhancing relationships and on accomplishing results - maintaining the *P/PC balance*

Eisenhower time management matrix:
![[Pasted image 20221223141103.png|900]]

Quadrant I-minded people:
![[Pasted image 20221223141237.png]]

Effective people stay out of Quadrants III and IV and shrink Quadrant I down to size by spending more time in Quadrant II.

**Quadrant II is the heart of effective personal management**. Effective people are not problem-minded, they're opportunity-minded. THey feed opportunities and starve problems. THey think preventively.

Important criteria for a Quadrant II organizer:
- Coherence (integrity between your vision and mission, roles and goals, etc.)
- Balance
- Quadrant II Focus
- A "People" Dimension (you need a tool that deals with people, not just schedules)
- Flexibility
- Portability

Effectiveness with people, efficiency with things.

When scared, effectively delegate tasks to other people.

Types of delegation:
- gofer delegation (Do this and do that, the delegator is responsbile for the results)
- stewardship delegation (focused on results instead of methods, the producer is responsible for the results, basically just tell the producer *what* you want them to do and a very little of *how*, also identify the resources the person can draw, and specify the possible consequences)

Example of a stewardship-type delegation:
![[Pasted image 20221223163144.png]]

## Part Three
Emotional Bank Account - a metaphor to represent a person's relationship, you can either deposit something in - improve the relationship, or withdraw something from it - use the relationship or worsen it.

Ways of building the EBA:
- understanding the individiual
- attending to the little things (little kidnesses and courtesies)
- keeping commitments
- clarifying expectations (i.e. say what you want from a human)
- apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal from the EBA

In an interdependent situation, **every P problem is a PC opportunity.**
Example:
![[Pasted image 20221223180108.png]]

### Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Paradigms of human interaction:
![[Pasted image 20221223180503.png]]

Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. It means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial.

The best option depends on the circumstances, though Win/Win is generally what you should go for. If you can't reach a true Win/Win, you're very often better off to go for No Deal.

Five dimensions of Win/Win:
![[Pasted image 20221223181719.png]]

### Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood
*A lot of people have learnt how to read, write, and speak, but few have had any training in listening at all*.

Basically, listen ***empathically*** to understand another person. Though it is risky, as it takes a great deal of security to go into a deep listening experience because you open yourself up to be influenced, and thus become vulnerable.
When you have to present your ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and contextually - in the context of a deep understanding of your listener's paradigms and concerns - you significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.

### Habit 6: Synergize
The exercise of all of the other habits prepares us for the habit of synergy.
The highest forms of synergy focus the four unique human endowments, the motive of Win/Win, and the skills of empathic communication on the toughest challenges we face in life.

## Part Four
### Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
![[Pasted image 20221228143104.png]]

Four dimensions of renewal:
![[Pasted image 20221228143138.png]]
"Sharpen the saw" means exercising all 4 dimensions. It's a Quadrant II activity.

# Brief summary
Character ethic vs Personality ethic; effectiveness is a function of P and PC, and you must strive towards P/PC balance; Circle of Concern/Influence; Quadrants (II); dimensions of renewal; human endowments; [[free will]]

Habits:
1) Be proactive
2) Begin with the end in mind
3) Put first things first
4) Think Win/Win
5) Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6) Synergise
7) Sharpen the Saw